Z TrainFuck the Little League World Series. It fucking sucks. Stop watching it. Fuck you for thinking I or anyone at No Brainer gave a shit about this.
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Z TrainWhile this may seem like a hot topic in the NCAA the last few years, I thought we all were on the side of the fence conceding that the NCAA was in the wrong, but I was very obviously wrong on that assumption. I write this after getting in a massive argument the other night with a couple people about this exact thing: paying college athletes. I couldn't convince anyone I was talking with of this. So now I'm here to convince you. For the sake of addressing my bias, I am much closer with aspects of college football than other sports, so this blog admittedly will probably be skewed towards football. As the biggest cash cow for the NCAA, I think it's a pretty fair central focus of the argument. Either way, I think I'll strike a common chord across all student-athletes with my points. Go to your fridge and grab some ice because these takes are about to get hot. CFB players put in two-a-days every day of the week during the school year. They're virtually under control by the team all Friday, Saturday and Sunday during the season, with the occasional rest day, still littered with film and "mental reps". In the offseason, it's camps, spring practice, weightlifting, and if you want to be a big-time contributor, days off are frowned on by the competitive culture surrounding college sports. Count up the hours however you want, playing a college sport is a full-time job. Go ask any athlete if they have free time. They'll laugh. Every single one of them. Between practice, school, travel, studying, sleeping (they'll laugh at that too) and everything else, there's not much time left in your day. The "student" portion of student-athletes gets a bad rap, whether it's from a big news bomb like Chapel Hill's fake classes, or just the seemingly common knowledge of some athlete at an SEC school skating by in classes. I won't sit here and pretend athletes don't have advantages (tutors, food, etc.), but do they outweigh the disadvantages of having a full-time job? Some athletes are even encouraged to pick easier majors to have more time for sports. While I agree the culture and encouragement is wrong, can you disagree? Could I have performed to my classmates' standards if I was doing what these athletes were doing? Hell no. Get out of here. Yes, plenty of people work while in school, and I don't think anyone who has done that would wish that upon anyone. No one should have to do that. Yet that is their proposed ticket for an education, inevitably diluted because of athletic commitments. Now to the crux of my argument. Of course we know that many of the top-shelf players come to school on a scholarship. Most of these same athletes will get free housing and free food. So what does that cost per player? By my estimations, that's about $30-40,000 per year for education, room and board (out-of-state is crap, just a markup for grant/tax purposes), and other benefits for special services, like health care, facilities, gyms, tutoring and food. I think a safe bet here would be about $10-20,000 but call it whatever you want for contingency purposes. If I was famous, I'd be sure to call up Coach Harbaugh and ask for the number, but (for now) No Brainer doesn't have that kind of pull. That sounds like a lot right? Well sure, but that's a pretty typical investment companies make for entry-level employees. A basic starting salary, on-site services and health benefits, often for your family as well. But here are the two key differences between your job and a starting captain linebacker for a National Championship team: 1. The athletes generate millions and millions of dollars for their university and the NCAA for their image and likeness.
Millions and millions into billions of dollars. This being said, what entry-level position can look up and say "wow, those millions of dollars can be traced directly back to me"? Likely not many. And if you had made this kind of contribution (I'm sure your projects are/were really important and expensive, but that doesn't mean "directly"), do you not think you would be compensated handsomely with a promotion and hefty raise? What job can directly trace millions of dollars back to themselves and what they did, and the "fair" compensation is what's listed above? Put yourself in that place and try to tell me that you would be OK with that. I'm sure if you disagree, you're very noble. But if that opportunity actually presented itself to you, you would demand at least a cut of that money, and you would probably have a pretty successful court case if it came to it. 2. Athletes have a maximum of 5 years and then they're told to beat it, regardless of the massive, lasting impact they've made on a university This is my favorite part of the whole thing. The athletes get the benefits above for a maximum of 5 years, usually for 3 or 4 if they're one of the top contributors to the NCAA's wealth (see Deshaun Watson, Andrew Luck, Reggie Bush, Sammy Watkins, Sidney Rice, and other iconic players who stayed 3 years), and then they're gone. We just conveniently forget about the massive impact Watson made at Clemson after he's gone. Or Ben Boulware. Or Mike Williams, Artavis Scott or Carlos Watkins. Or Charlie Whitehurst, Tajh Boyd, Deandre Hopkins in years past. Think about all of the talented athletes who will come or have come to Clemson because of these guys' success, generating the university and NCAA more and more money off of someone's likeness while they aren't even there. Forget only Clemson: How many fucking CFB commercials have there been with Tim Tebow (class of 2009) on the cover of it? Purdue fans still talk about Drew Brees at every opportunity, his image has carried their football program fifteen years later. Athletes don't even reap the fair benefits while they're in school, let alone the huge financial boost directly from their success that happens in the years to come, especially troublesome for those top-level contributors that could never translate to the pros where their payday awaited. So stop comparing a normal job with fair compensation to college athletics. It's just incorrect, and there's no other way to slice it or dice it, regardless of your "perspective". Google what the NCAA made last year (I did it for you). It's a massive entertainment business. This is a massive case of employee exploitation squarely in the public eye, the modern day equivalent of industrial robber barons (sound the hot take siren). Don't let the NCAA feed you their flaming pile of crap about how it's for "students" and "school is the main priority." In what world do you live in if you think that's true? It's about making money, what it's always about in the world. I agree that shouldn't be the case, but that ship sailed with fucking evolution. Look around you. Physically dominant alpha males (and females) have ran society since the beginning of time, and don't feign ignorance like you haven't known that your whole life. While I, not a collegiate athlete, knows there is plenty of notable merit to all kinds of talents and professions, the previous fact is unarguable, whether it feels cozy in your brain or not. If you disagree or are trying to poke holes in my argument, that's fair and I invite it. I know I'm right about this, and would love to think about any potential holes further so that I can destroy you better in the future. A lot of people a lot smarter than me have made this case, and I'm sure can do a better job of defending and explaining it than I can. My opinion about any disagreement is this: you're a salty bitch. You're mad that these athletes have continually beat the system. You don't want them to be fairly compensated because you think they've already benefitted so much from their talents, and you view that as unfair, even though you, I and everyone know that's not true. My advice if you're mad about this blog: reevaluate. Celebrate other's success. If you want a better system, propose it and act on it if it fires you up that much. If not, shut your mouth, and reevaluate. It's fucking sports. Give these guys and girls what they've earned and let's move forward from there. This take is so hot that I think I fried my laptop. Z Train OUT. Z TrainHorse Racing + The Train = The Pony Express For those of you who aren't degenerate gamblers, the Stars and Stripes Festival horse race event was this Saturday at Belmont Park in New York, home of the Belmont Stakes of the Triple Crown. This race card was stacked with 5 top races, including two Grade 1 (pompous horse people code for a big deal) filly (girl horse) events.
I hit a few nutty bets this weekend, but really was just on the beneficiary end of some really good advice and surefire winners. I can't even pretend to understand jackshit about horse racing, but I will walk you through a few of my bets and some of the thoughts in my dumb mind during betting. Total Risked: $70 Total Won: $105.30 Net Return: $49.30 Bets Won: 6 Pretty awesome return for this raceday, courtesy of one banger trifecta that I nailed. When I research who to bet (called handicapping in the horse world), I always check out Randy Moss (the white one, yes there is a white one) from NBC and Andy Serling and David Aragona from the NYRA. These guys always have solid picks and analysis on horses worth betting on, and comparing their picks can get you the scoop on who the best horses really are. For the lesser, untelevised race events, tracks usually have resident experts that can give you the down-low on which horses they favor. I'll go into more detail later when I release the horse betting blog I've been planning, but I'll run you through a few of the bets I nailed this weekend in a humble brag. Before you get wild, I'm not a high-roller, I'm a college kid, so my bets are pretty conservative. Good thing I'm getting fucking bucks from the bets I'm winning. Belmont Oaks Invitational: Race 8 (Fillies) Trifecta Win - 8 New Money Honey (5-2) Place - 12 Sistercharlie (8-5) Show - 7 Uni (7-1) Bet: $1 Total Payout: $51.25 Fuck yeah motherfuckers, I turned $1 into $50+ off one bet. Albeit, it was a pretty wild parlay bet. A trifecta is where you pick the first three horses in a row who win. I picked the 8-12-7 combo and scored big time. The experts loved New Money Honey and Sistercharlie, as they were the two favorites. I bet New Money Honey to place, so I scored a couple bucks from that bet as well. But I chose to go with the 7 horse for third because of a fun fact: all three of these horses are trained by superstar trainer, Chad Brown. Every horse that dude touches turns to gold, and I bet them as often as I can. And golly gee did that fucking pay off. All three girls snuck up on the pack coming around the final turn and dusted in the final sprint. Thank you Based Chad Brown, and thank you to all three jockeys that ran perfect races. I'll probably never hit a trifecta again but I am motherfuckin' basking in it. Race #4 Win - 3 Munchkin Money (9-1) Bet: $2 Total Payout: $20.20 It's crazy that this horse was only a 9-1 by the end of betting. He was a Morning Line (opening) 10-1, but was favored by all of the experts I read. At 9-1, that's a hell of a value bet for a strong horse. Since he must have still been a long shot for a reason, I was hesitant to pull the trigger on a bigger bet with my $70 budget, but I'm not complaining. If you're keeping score at home, these two bets alone netted me positive money for the entire day, so that's pretty rad. Race #2 Win - 5 Bonita Springs (6-1) Bet: $2 Total Payout: $15.20 Again, this is an identical bet to Munchkin Money. I bet Bonita Springs to Win after the experts loved him, but was hesitant to bet more from the longer odds than typical favorites. Again, should've bet a little more, but still not complaining with the big payout. Belmont Sprint: Race #7 Win - Mind Your Biscuits (7-5) Place - Awesome Slew (5-1) Show - Tommy Macho (7-1) Bet: $5 on MYB to Win, $1 on AS to Show Total Payout: $13.70 Mind Your Biscuits and Awesome Slew had two of the best names on the day. You can't make this shit up: Biscuits and Slew getting first and second. These two horses winning would've been middle school Z's biggest dream to make fun jokes about. I don't know who I'm kidding, current Z is even happier to get his biscuits slewed. MYB was a clear class above, dominating the race, touted by the announcers as one of the top sprinters in the world. Pretty awesome title and worth a bigger bet than my pockets will allow. Awesome Slew was a favorite with the experts, so I bet a small buck for him to show, or at least get third. He got second, so I still won the bet, for a cool net of $1.70. Pretty awesome race, the Biscuit can fucking run. So there it is. Quite the Saturday for yours truly. It definitely sounds better when I leave out all the bets I airmailed on, like a $10 on Shaman Ghost, that bastard got second, and my other $10 loss for Sistercharlie to win was masked by the trifecta. Here marks the first edition of Z Train turning into the Pony Express, and what a success. You just can't argue with results. Maybe you should just listen to me listening to the experts, I'll be like your gambling middle man. Z Train BradshawWe all love sports. Watching a bunch of dudes that are way more athletic than you go out and compete has a special kind of draw to it. They're an excuse to get drunk on a weeknight and something to take your mind off of the fact that you hate your job and maybe hate your life. Theres no greater passion than watching your team or favorite player score a touchdown, run, point, etc. Sports are the shit. I'm not arguing that sports aren't awesome, but holy shit, there are some really freaking annoying things in sports. No need to sugar coat it, some stuff in sports just annoy the piss out of you and make you wanna throw your beer at the TV. What are those things you might ask? I'm pissed off so here comes my extremely hate-filled list of bullshit annoying things in sports. 1. Overly ridiculous injury faking in Soccer We fucking get it, you want the ref to give that guy a card and you wanna take a PK, but you don't need to flop like somebody hit you in the nuts with a hammer. Like come on, stop being such a pussy and get your ass up. I don't know how this has become such an epidemic in soccer, but it seems like it happens more and more. Take notes from NHL players like Sidney Crosby who will get slammed into the wall, get a concussion and try to stay in the game. Has he gotten way too many concussions? Probably. But does he have 3 Stanley Cups? Yes. So take note soccer players, stop the ridiculous flopping. I don't wanna watch that shit. For such a fun sport to watch, the flopping really takes away from the overall vibe of the game. Don't be a bitch. 2. The fact that NFL games can end in ties You invest time into a game, you watch every second of it, you even watch through all of overtime, and then... It ends in a fucking tie. Are you serious NFL? Like you couldn't come up with anything to do after one overtime period? Its like they were too lazy to come up with something better so they just were like eh, put down a tie. How do players not riot with this shit? Like they're out there busting their asses for 4 quarters and an OT period and the NFL just says both teams win. This is an old ass rule, but its part of the pussification of America. Its the same thing as a participation trophy. And in my America, participation trophies are bullshit. Do better NFL, do wayyyyy better. On a side note, I think College Football has OT figured out, but thats a different conversation. 3. Grunting in tennis If I wanted to hear a grown ass man grunt for two hours, I'd be going to a certain website, not a tennis match. Look tennis is kind of sweet to watch. Those dudes are really good and they would kick my ass in tennis, but is it really necessary for them to grunt every time they hit the ball? I don't think so. Cut the grunting, play tennis, and do better. Female players do it way more than men and its equally as annoying. I don't grunt while I'm picking up something heavy so why do they feel the need to do it? There are only two times when grunting is acceptable, sex and when trying to impress people with your sick gains while working out. Other than that cut the shit out. 4. Parents trying to live out their athletic dreams through their kids Looking at you Lavar Ball. He's this problem in the public eye, but their are tons and tons of moms and dads out there pushing their failed athletic dreams on to their kids. Yeah sports are awesome, but nobody likes that one dad who's treating 8 and under little league baseball like the World Series. Let your kids have fun and make their own choices. Lavar Ball is so much worse because he's using his sons fame to make himself famous. He needs to learn to shut the fuck up and just let his son play basketball. You know its bad when you can't get a shoe company to sponsor you, so you start your own shoe brand. Lonzo Ball still got drafted by the Lakers and it worked out, but he just needs to have a sit down with Lavar and tell him to eat a dick. The media makes this so much worse, but whatever. 5. Getting penalties for celebrating in the NFL The NFL has a lot of shit that they need to work on. Another big reason why everyone hates Roger Goodell. How in the hell are you gonna give a player a penalty for celebrating when he scores a touchdown? This dude has worked his ass off his entire life with the goal of making it to the NFL. He scores a touchdown, which is ridiculously hard in the NFL, and you're not gonna let him celebrate. Sure the celebrations can be within reason. We don't need the Peter Griffin-esque 30 minute long celebrations, but if a dude wants to twerk all up and down the endzone, you let him shake his ass. This is America, you should have the freedom to celebrate however you want. So fix that shit NFL, make football fun again. Z Train Does anyone care about soccer? Probably not. But I do. And it's my blog. I’m a big Tottenham fan, which has finally started to pay off after a literal lifetime. The faith in youth (known in the Land of the Free as “The Process”) is being executed to perfection. Spurs have seen the likes of Alli, Dier, Kane, Winks, Rose and several others come to the club at a young age or come through the academy and make an impact on a global scale. It’s exciting to watch unfold, and fills you with a sense of pride for your club, or at least however much an American can feel about European sports. This post is going to talk about the opposite: who we need to target in the transfer market to compete with the likes of Chelsea and the likely resurgence of the other top European teams. Dropping our balls on Arsenal last year was every bit as good as I thought it would be, and this has to be the biggest motivation for us to keep going. God I hate Arsenal. The roster is tough to poke holes in, so I’m going to start with who we should move on from. Kyle Walker He’s got to be the one sure thing to leave this summer (check the petty British). I’ve flip flopped on my opinion of Walker throughout his career at the Lane. He’s a freak athlete, that part is undoubted. He’s always been streaky with where his head is at and with the final touch, but it’s something out of a movie watching him run up the right wing. Cashing in on Walker is the perfect move, and absolutely the time to do it. He’s obviously not happy with the pressure Trippier is putting on him, and with Kyle Walker-Peters ready to move into a real role, we can afford to move him on. There are talks of $65m+ which sounds way too good. See ya bud! Pocket that cash and use it elsewhere. Moussa Sissoko Jesus Christ. Whoever paid $45m for this guy is an idiot. After seeing him be horribly inconsistent and lackluster, 4 games in the Euro changes everyone’s minds. Not sure how many times a guy has a good international tournament and GM’s cum their pants, assured he can turn 4 good games into an entire season. He doesn’t make sense for the system we run, trapped between the number 10 and the holding midfield. He strangely has a decent market and we need to move on from him for any amount of money, he’s a cancer in the locker room Erik Lamela I was a total Lamela hater at first after his folly of errors his first year, but I genuinely love the guy now. He works so hard and has developed strength and quality to add to the effort and touch he’s always had. I just think it’s time to cash in and move on. Coming off a really strange injury, he hasn’t played in a year. He’s still got a market, and I just don’t think he’ll come back the same player after a year plus out. In order to compete at the top, wing is the glaring hole that we can improve at. I think cashing in on Lamela, trusting Onomah and Son for depth, and targeting a top level wing is the way to do it. Georges N’Koudou I never understand taking the little guys into the Premier League from other less physical leagues. It doesn’t really work. We’ve seen it with Cuadrado, Mohamed Salah, Jesus Navas. Whatever. Get this clown out of here, back to France where he can actually hang. Targets
Douglas Costa This guy is a stud. I really would want him over anyone else. He’s got quality at both feet, can play forward, the number 10 and either wing, and speed kills. If we could get him to contribute on the defensive end as well, he’s the perfect addition to this team. It seems like it could be realistic, he’s crowded out on the wings in Bayern, and we can afford him with all the money we keep generating. I’m a huge Douglas Costa guy, and he’s my pick for best available. Alexis Sanchez Hahahahahahahahahaahaha God I hate Arsenal. Doubt this would happen, but we could afford him and we’re a much more attractive side at the moment. He’d fit in on the right wing really well, and I’d be all about it. Yo, Lex, if you’re reading this which I know you are, just think about whether you want to keep winning the lame ass FA Cup no one outside of England cares about or challenge for the Champions League as part of a dynasty. Just saying. Cengiz Under I don’t know a damn thing about this dude, but how Tottenham would it be to pick up some random kid from Turkey when we’re challenging for a title. He’d probably turn out just like Dele Alli or Eric Dier. So I’m about it. Under is the over, hell yeah for awful puns. Matthias Ginter If he’s actually available, I hope this is lined up in case Eric Dier heads off (hoping he doesn't). He's an upgrade at least, and can play either full back, and excels at center back and can even play a holding midfield role. I like this guy a lot, and it's never bad to drink from the eternal fountain that is the young German talent that never seems to end. So no, I don't want to sell Rose, Dier or Janssen. I think Janssen deserves another shot, and Rose and Dier are key guys of the young core that I don't want to see leave unless it's for a huge profit. So there it is, soccer definitely is not rocket science. |