Z TrainThe age-old question that we've all been dying to know. If you haven't checked out this Reddit thread, you should. So. Who the fuck do I want to punch in the face? Let's rank them with athletes that would absolutely murder me if I punched them in the face. A man can dream. NFL: Eli Manning This is almost so cliche that it's too easy. But that's not going to stop me. Just look at his fucking face. LOOK AT HIS FUCKING FACE. You can't tell me it doesn't drive you insane that this motherfucker is the only one to beat Brady, and he did it TWICE. Also, it birthed maybe the one truly hilarious meme I've ever seen. NBA: Kevin Durant Throwing all of the bullshit about joining the greatest team of all time aside, KD still has a punchable ass face. His awful goatee looks like he wanted to be a wizard, but then dropped out halfway through. If you scanned this face on 2K, it wouldn't even register as a real face, just some kind of baby cow. Am I still mad that he ruined my July 4th last year? Yes. But just look at that face. NHL: Phil Kessel First things first, I've never seen a more passable Zach Galifianakis doppelganger. On top of that, how does this goofy fuck play professional hockey, let alone win the fucking Stanley Cup. Shout out to this guy. I thought my dumb looking face was the reason my professional sports career never took off. Guess I need to find another excuse. Dear Lord. He looks like every weird looking bully from any 90's teen movie you can think of. CFB: Baker Mayfield Baker is just one greasy dude. He looks like he could fill up one of those grease trucks you see outside of restaurants in boujee liberal cities. He looks like he has an annoying high-pitched laugh that you can absolutely picture/hate. Can't wait for another season of him "almost" winning something and inevitably winning nothing. Golf: John Daly This is not true. I don't want to punch John Daly. I just fucking love John Daly and can and will put him in any blog I can, especially this picture. I'd knock the fuck out of Phil Mickelson though. Lord have mercy. Look at those dead, crazy eyes. He looks like a weird ass fish in an animated movie. So there it is. The power rankings of punchable faces in sports. Coming from a guy with an obscenely punchable face, I think it's a "takes one to know one" type of thing.
Z Train
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